Labour Part 2: The Journey of Natural Birth

At 2:30am I was at peace when I saw Veronica, the midwife, and lay down on the king size be, at Genesis Clinic, with the contraction monitor attached to me. The room was dim and mom and Avon watched as each contraction passed. I felt very awkward on the bed because the major pain was in my lower back and the bed didn’t give me many options for positions. Then the midwife checked how far my cervix was dilated. I was shocked to find that I was already 7cm dilated. Mom gave me the thumbs up and said“wow, that is impressive Kanya.” But I didn’t know quite how to take it as I couldn’t quite measure the level of pain I was experiencing to a mere 7cm on a ruler. Then I tried to think of how the next 3cm will be and beyond…..I was battling to figure out how these next 3cm would unfold.

The midwife asked where I would like to give birth, on the bed or in the tub. I knew this question would come but honestly I didn’t have an exact answer. I never had a exact birthing plan I actually avoided the thought all together. I guess I was trying to save myself of freaking out before the actual event. As I was about to say ..”the bed”….a really bad contraction came and I said “Lets try the bath!”

As soon as I got into the warm deep birthing tub I automatically relaxed. My mom said she had never seen someone so relaxed before at this stage of labour. I remember cracking jokes and posing for a photo in the labour tub as if I wasn’t just about to go into one of the most painful experiences in my life. I guess my approach was …might as well enjoy myself while I am sane.



3am everyone all happy - kanya, Avon and Veronica (midwife)

  My contractions progressively got more intense and both Mom and Avon supported my head out of the water by holding my arms through each one. It was funny because when I wasn’t having a contraction I was so at peace that I would fall asleep - out cold. Then I would wake up and realise “Gosh I am in labour!” and would grab mom and Avon as if I could pull them into the tub with both my hands. Apparently I dug my nails deep into Mom and Avon. Good thing I didn’t panic when I woke up. It was as if my body was in complete relaxation for the upcoming contraction.

My Midwife was beyond amazing. She was so peaceful and calm through out my labour. Avon said that when he saw her he knew I was in the right hands. I guess midwives have seen it all, so this was nothing to her. When my contractions got almost unbearable I asked her what I should do. She calmly said “Kanya your body is going to tell you exactly what to do, just listen to it!” When she said that I thought “How in the hell am I going to listen to my body …..my ears are already my body! How would I know what my body is saying?” But now that I am typing this blog, the midwife’s advice was probably the best advice I got throughout the intense labour. She was right - my body did tell me exactly what to do. It was the strangest experience because the body just went into a mind of its own. My body would say: “Kanya you need to vomit RIGHT NOW!” and I would shouted “Pass me the bowl QUICK!” as I threw up my water automatically broke. It was a popping sound and I could see it in the water. Thankfully it wasn’t discoloured because if it was it would indicate that Siam was stressed. Then my body would say “PUSH Kanya, push like you have never pushed before, push like your life depended on it!” I was listening and I was pushing instinctively. But my body was also doing its own thing which I had no control over. It wasn’t like I could tell my body “Body lets take a longer break…I am not ready for the next contraction!” Oh no! this body of mine was in top baby delivery mode and was doing exactly what it was designed to do.

Not only was my body in tune for delivery but so was Siam. It was so strange because I was beginning to realise that this part of me had a mind of its own. Siam knew exactly what to do and every now and then the midwife would check heart rate. Knowing that Siam’s heart rate was fine really geared me forward. I kept telling myself this was normal these pains are natural and I was designed for this very moment. I never let a bad thought enter my mind. I also needed my spirit to be fully engaged and when the contractions and pushing felt beyond unbelievable I just focused on the light above me and shouted “LORD HELP ME NOW!!!!! HELP ME NOW LORD!” It was the only thing I could think of to say. Screaming didn’t help, crying didn’t help….but I knew if I put my trust in something greater than me then I would get through this. Having my mother in the room was also soothing to my spirit. Her spirit was so calm and compassionate that words didn’t need to be exchanged her presence was enough.

You are probably wondering where Avon was through it all. Well he was right behind me holding my shoulders up and cooling me off with a wet towel. During the labour I briefly wondered if he was okay seeing me like this. But when the head started crowning I realised how fully present he was. He was like a softly spoken soccer commentator saying “Baby you are doing great, I can see the head, keep pushing, only a little bit more to go!!!!” I couldn’t look down at the whole episode that was happening down there. Avon’s commentating was more than enough encouragement for me.

1. Kanya keeping focused before a contraction; 2. Kanya facial expression during a push (notice Avons shirt is nearly being ripped) 3. Parents overwhelming sense of joy straight after delivery.

What did it fee like? Well it really did feel like I was taking a huge Dump! As if I was so constipated and the hole was not big enough. The only difference with constipation and delivery is that there was no coming back later to try again. ……You had to PUSH it out no matter what.

But Wow when Siam came out it was like someone switched off the pain button and my Body, Mind and Spirit were back as one. I had a huge rush of emotions as the midwife put Siam on my chest. I cried and said “Well done Siam you were listening to mommy!” Siam was calmed at the sound of my voice which was extremely moving. Mom reminded me of the words I said “Siam I love you I love you and I don’t even know what you are.” The midwife said look for yourself and I gently picked Siams slippery body up and saw Siam was a Girl and she was so beautiful. Her lips were a deep red, her eyes were wide open to the world and her hair was soft wet curls. I was really awe struck by her presence, this life came from within me and it all felt so unreal.

At 5:50am, 29th September the umbilical cord was cut and SIAM was now Kayla Eva Middleton. Avon was given the honour of cutting the cord and an overwhelming rush of love come over me as I realised that this was a real life which God has blessed us with. The cutting of the cord not only symbolised the beginning of Kayla’s life but it also symbolised the beginning of parenthood. At that specific moment I was no longer pregnant, our married life would no longer be Avon and I, we were now a family and life form here on end will have a whole different dimension to it.

1. Mom calming Kayla in the water, 2. Avon, Veronica, Kayla and Kanya......WE DID IT

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Overall Perspective of the experience:

Readers I would do give natural birth over and over again :). I have never experienced such a closeness to God, myself and to my husband. It almost felt supernatural. My faith was really put to the test just by knowing that God created me for this very moment and that he would bring me through it. Also finding that strength from within has made me feel that now I can do anything! Giving birth naturally made me fall in love with my husband all over again just through his support and encouragement. I thought I would shout at him and curse him but all I could do was hold on to him. After it all Avon just said "Wow I thought I loved you before this whole experience, but now that love is that much more intense." All these factors have encouraged me for the next phase of life - Motherhood……..I will be sure to keep you all posted through this blog .

7am am familly photo

Labour Part 1: It's Time Baby....or is it?

So readers, I went through labour…..which sounds like I went through a place….like I am saying I went through Town, or Johannesburg on my way to work. Well actually going through labour was like going through a place……a place so different from anything I have ever experienced before in my life, a place where there was no turning back only moving forward, a place where I experienced God, fear and peace all at the same time, a place where my mind, body and spirit seemed to be clearly separate entities that make me, me. And I hope this blog encourages expecting mothers to venture to this Place….the Place of Natural birth.

Kasamba and I - the Pregnancy buddies

The day of my labour, I truly was unaware of it. I started my morning by finishing off the last baby-ready-list which happened to be - make Siam’s bed. I was home most of the day and enjoyed entertaining a good old childhood friend of mine for lunch, Kasamba. She was also pregnant and due to deliver in a months time. Our mothers were friends and just so happened to have the same age difference with us (i.e. they were also pregnant and 1 month apart). That same afternoon my parents arrived from Zimbabwe. I had a sense of relief when I saw my mom because I was so afraid I would deliver while she was away and I really wanted her to be with me during the labour. I remember sending a sms to my mother-in-law at around 5pm saying “Siam can come now, I am ready!” Little did I know that that conscious readiness would trigger my body into labour that evening.

This was probably the last decent photo taken of me pregnant

That evening I had invited Maita and Reagan over for dinner. While cooking and cleaning up I began feeling contractions but didn’t think anything of it. I had my new Yoga ball and would bounce on it and move my hips every now and again just to relieve myself of the pain. The entertainment for the night was watching natural birthing videos. I just wanted to enlighten Reagan and Maita of how wonderful water birth appeared to be. The baby seemed so peaceful and the mother not so stressed. After watching these videos my contractions became more intense. I was trying to keep my cool but it seemed obvious that something was going down. Before Maita and Reagan left, Maita suggested we should just pray. I sat on a chair with Avon, Mom, Maita and Reagan praying hands on me. I think this was when my spirit tuned into the possibility of going into labour….but I don’t think I was mentally there yet.

1:30am....Avon massaging my lower back in Labour position 1

By midnight I was mentally aware that these contractions were labour ones. I had taken two hot baths, bounced on the ball, sat in strange positions, used a heating pad for soothing pain and forced Avon to rub my lower back for hours. I woke mom up and she advised me to call the midwife. The midwife encouraged me to stay at home as long as possible – this helps relax me and also brings the labour on quicker. By 1:30am I was vomiting and had a runny tummy all at the same time. It was obvious I was in labour and we began loading the car with the labour bags. I remember seeing mom and Avon rushing around grabbing stuff in their half sleep minds and thinking to myself “wow is this really happening, am I really in labour?” I had replayed this moment in my head a few times and was so glad we had prepared the labour bags, camera’s, documents, baby bed, car seat etc. I couldn’t have imagined trying to be organised in the state I was in……all I could do was sit on the couch and command mom and Avon to grab what I wanted – “Avon you got the documents!!!! Mom take the bowl in case I need to vomit again!!!! ‘Avon get the car ready I am not coming into the car until a contraction has passed!!! Mom grab that pillow.”

Woooosssaaaaa (Breath)

To be continued………..

Understanding the Stages of Labour is Laborious

I have been reading every book page and every web page I can find on Labour. For those of us who are inexperienced with labour and who have not read up about it the general idea is “your water breaks and then you have to rush to hospital and baby just comes out!” Well that is exactly what the movies show and from what I have been reading it is actually completely different to what could take place. Let me enlighten you folks on some of my interesting readings and teachings….and maybe this will help me prepare for my actual labour experience.

In a short paragraph labour can be broken down into three main stages: The first stage (early labour, active labour, transition) begins with the onset of contractions that cause progressive changes in your cervix and ends when your cervix is fully dilated. That’s right ….when your inner Vagina is 10cm. Once you are fully dilated the second stage starts, which is basically when the baby comes through your vagina and out…..it is also known as the pushing phase. The third stage is when you have already delivered your baby and the after birth comes out (placenta).

My main focus lately has been on trying to figure out when the first stage of labour beings –how do I know when it is happening, what are the signs, how will I feel. But just like any lady who I have spoken to or read about, they all tell me something totally different about their “sign of labour.” I mean one lady will say her water broke first and then she had contractions but another will say it is the other way around. From what I have read though a normal step by step process of the first stage of labour would be:

A possible “Bloody Show” and ladies I am not swearing here….it literally means a show of blood. This is when the mucus plug in your upper cervix gets released. But when this happens it doesn’t mean you are going to go into labour ASAP….you could still have a couple of days to go. Also your body can make another plug if baby isn’t ready to come out yet. So really a bloody show doesn’t really stand for bloody anything does it really (yes I am swearing now).

The early labour signs are really characterised by the infamous contractions…which should not be confused with Braxton Hicks contractions (fake ones)….Its like our body plays games on our mind when it throws in a fake contraction here and there. It just ain’t cool coz you will be walking normally and then BAM fake contraction comes your way and your walk turns into a waddle and your whole tummy feels like it is going to drop so you hold it right by the cookie (lower abdomen) and you start to breath deep just to control the pain…..and by this point every “movie minded person” is looking at you as if you are going to deliver any moment. Anyways the only way to distinguish the two types of contractions are that labour contractions are fairly regular and gradually get more intense. When this happens our mind has to really start doing some time calculations to figure out how regular the contractions are and how long they last. When they are every five minutes and lasting for 40 to 60 seconds then you have reached the end of early labour……ie your Cervix is 4cm (still got 6cm to go). So what is really happening during these labour contractions is your cervix is widening and that is why they are so painful. You see in a ‘normal early labour’ your water has still not broken at this stage. If it has then you have to make sure your caregiver is aware of it and that you are heading to hospital. If it hasn’t then well you are free to do whatever you like. Yup go get your nails done, watch TV, go for a walk, basically relax. “Why????” you ask. Well apparently the more relaxed you are the quicker your labour progresses and walking is the best because you maximise on gravity. This phase can also vary in time …it all depends if your ripe your cervix is.

The active stage of labour is when the issh hits the fan because those contractions become more frequent, longer, and stronger. Once you have had regular, painful contractions every five minutes for an hour then you really need to start making your way to the hospital or birthing clinic. If this is your first vagina delivery then this phase can take about four to eight hours.

The last phase of the first stage of labour is the Transition phase. Your cervix goes from 8cm-10cm and you are not such a pleasant person to be around. As my mom puts it so politely “You move from normal contractions to feeling like you are going to take a huge #R$*#*($&)%.” This is that part of the movie where you start screaming at the husband. But you are not suppose to be pushing as yet.

Only when you are 10cm are you officially in the Second stage of labour – the Pushing phase…and the SH@)(*$#-ing feeling is still there. Apparently the contractions in this phase are actually quite bearable and you are able to catch your breath for the actual pushing motion. Your baby could come out quickly or it may take a while but the most important thing is to listen to your caregivers guidance on pushing. If you just go pushing whenever you feel like it you may end up causing some major damage to your cookie…not good for you or your hubby. This phase can take about one hour for a first timer and 20 minutes if you’ve had a previous vaginal delivery.

The Third stage is the delivery of the placenta. This takes place minutes after giving birth. It is important that the after birth comes out before any uterus contraction injections are given. One of Avon’s aunties told me of a horrific story of how she was given this injection and the afterbirth had not been delivered yet. She said if it wasn’t for the doctor ripping it out with his own bare hand she probably would have died. AAAAAA!

Well that was the kanya version of information I have gathered on labour so far. …my main reference has been www.babycenter.com and Michelle’s very informative antenatal classes which we attended at fourways life clinic. But all of this has helped me realise that labour is not that simple it is actually so complicated and I wonder how if I can remeber it all when I actually go through with it. EEEEEK