God are You here? (Reflections from the movie Eat Pray Love)

Last night, October 7th, my good friend, Parusha Naidoo (Goodhope FM, DJ) and I attended the premier for Eat, Pray, Love, and what an enlightening movie it was.

The movie wasn’t a typical happy-go-lucky kind of a movie but a deep spiritual search with its highs and lows. The movie really shows how it isn’t always easy trying to listen to that inner voice, it isn’t easy to find your self (and do we ever really?), it isn’t always easy to forgive ourselves or others and it isn’t always easy to find God and peace in this world. But it does require a search as it so clearly shows in the movie.

Eat, Pray, love ignited moments in my life when I was searching for the deeper meaning and purpose; when I was trying to figure life out. I remember going up to “Gods Window” in Grasskop thinking maybe I would find God there. It was the most gloomiest days of that summer and I hiked right up to the top of this mountain alone…thinking for sure I would find God or God would find me. As I hiked up, the clouds came down and it became dark as I walked through the rain forest vegetation. I started to feel like I was not alone, yet there was no one around me. I got to the edge of the mountain where you supposedly would look over the clouds as if you were looking out of Gods window.

Breathless and tired I sat on the damp rock with the mist surrounding me and talked to God in my mind. I said “Okay God I am here. . . You could have at least have removed these clouds for me. I can barely see you. I have driven 3 hours alone…Where are you?” Still there was nothing. Isn’t it sad that we expect God to do some miracle to prove himself to us as if he is on our time and that we are not on his. I waited for God and soon my fears came to haunt me. You are alone Kanya…if you died right here no one would know.Do you really think people care about you? My mom had already said it was a stupid idea for me to be in the mountains alone. Suddenly I felt like she was right. I got scared. “God remove these fears.” I got a brief moment of suicide which had never crossed my mind. I panicked and began to run down the mountain, like a child that had just seen a ghost. I ran as if my life depended on it. As soon as I came to the open path, a busload of tourists were right in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks and began to walk as if nothing had happened.

Although I was mad that I didn’t feel Gods presence or didn’t have that Godly moment which I was so searching, I realised that when we begin to search for God – the devil searches for us. The devil loves it when we are unhappy, when we are senseless and engulfed in unhealthy relationships, money and greed. These are the false illustrations of happiness and our inner being screams until it isn’t heard anymore. God rescues us by saying “Wake up there is more to life!” hopes that inner feeling will move us into a search for Him.

I think we all have different paths that God has called us to walk on.- when he calls us or when we realise He is actually real. It could be to leave all your treasures and find Him? It could be to leave the person you love in order to find the maker of Love, it could be to be in a place where you feel the presence of evil and realise then there must be a God. Whatever it is and whenever it happens you will know…your heart gets stirred up and you acknowledge this void that only God can fill. When it does don’t think about yourself…you will be just as confused. Just like the beginning of the movie, she got on her knees and prayed and God lead her step by step. Just get down on your knees and pray, and the light will begin to shine through the darkness.
God hears every prayer and counts every tear that falls J.

The A-Team Premier

Date: 12th August 2010
Location: Nu Metro cinema complex at Montecasino, JHB,
Highlights: Two members of the A-Team crew: Mad Murdoch played by Sharlto Copley (from District 9) and Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson(from Ultimate Fighting Championship UFC Title Holder).

Being invited to the A-team Premier was just the right medicine I needed for my very sick day last week Thursday. I couldn’t resist the opportunity to get up close and personal with the rich and famous. Going to events like these is like going to the Zoo for me. I observe every creature...how they interact with each other, moved, talked or eat.

I got waves of nerves when we arrived at the venue and saw a huge red carpet crowded around with people. I was here to observe…not to be observed. But I daydreamed about walking on it. There we would be Avon and I holding hands pretending to be famous and walking with such confidence. The next thing you know a random reporter would whisper to the next “Um who are they?” other reporter: “Maybe they are in the movie too”…..Since no one had watched the movie yet everyone would just start taking photos just because the majority were doing it. I could just see myself waving gracefully …ha ha ha ha. Then I would walk up to a random person and sign their note pad as if they wanted my autograph. Qwa Qwa Qwa.

My daydream ended abruptly when we got handed our PRESS PASSES and then got scurried around the back of the crowds towards the stage. Well I guess a press pass is better than nothing. By this time Sharlto Copley who was playing Captain Murdok and Quinton who was playing Mr T were now on stage chatting about the movie. We were not in a great position to take pictures. But all I could think about was if I didn’t get a picture no one would understand my experience. Plus I had to earn my PRESS PASS.. you know what I mean. (Just working on them acting skills)

The A-Team movie was packed with action. But I must admit the fact that we had actually just seen the characters before we got into the movies made the movie even more ‘real.’ There was loads and loads of action, with a hint of romance and comedy, which is just the kind of movie I can sit through.

What really made my night was the premier after party. There were cameras and lights everywhere; waiters were walking around with free food and drinks. Avon and I were approached by a TV crew asking if we would like to share our views. I didn’t even know who they were filming for but I was so in. THIS WAS MY MOMENT. I was going to have a say on TV, a voice or a smile or something, who cares for WHAT J. The interview was going fine till they started asking me specific questions like “What did you think about Sharlto Copley!” You can’t do that to a dyslexic chick …names and me don’t mix. As soon as you ask me a name of someone I don’t know personally you can forget me relating to that question!” Unless he was Nelson Mandela, Mugabe, Oliver Mutukuzi. These are brothers I know. Sharlto rings no bell to my brain…maybe VICUS would but SHARLTO. I haven’t called him, watched him (WHEN HIS NAME IS CALLED SHARLTO). Maybe if I had watched him on a TV interview where a guy would say “Tonight we have Sharlto Copley in studio” Then he would walk in and only then would my brain click “ Hey ain’t that the guy from District 9….VICUS” But nooooooooo…… I have never had a moment like that.
So I smiled and gave a gentle turn to Avon with a look like “Baby you answer the question!” and AVON SAVED THE NIGHT J.

When I actually did meet Sharlto Copley for a picture, I wrapped my hand around his back and just thought damb if only he knew I didn’t know his name 5 minutes ago. I felt sooo bad. I mean I was like the reporter in my daydream…..the one that took pictures of others just because everyone else was taking pictures. That felt terrible. I watched him as he signed autographs and thought gosh was this what it was like being famous. I mean the interactions between him and the fans were not anything to write home about. How would I feel if everyone were to be handing me pieces of cardboard just for me to put a little scribble? Don’t get me wrong … the guy was very friendly and so down to earth. It all just made me wonder how would he feel when he gets to his hotel room having met thousands of people but having not connected really with anyone of them. Did it really matter?

When I met Mr T I was so nervous. He was just so massive and yet so soft spoken. He knew Avon form the interviews before the show so he was cool to get a picture with us. Man I love my Husbands job J.

The whole experience made me think about being an actress/actor. The industry felt so near when you stood with the actors, yet at the same time so far when you watch the movies. I am sure that the fact that Sharlto Copley is South African made the dream “to be big” feel possible for many of us. But where is the substance in such an industry???? Do we really appreciate famous people for their accomplishments or is it because everyone knows them so we should know them? I really wonder sometimes.
Stay tuned for more adventures