Surround Yourself with Good People

Two weeks ago my work celebrated its 15yr birthday which kick started with a very inspirational motivational speaker from Highveld 702fm, Benita Levine – Two things that really sunk in from this talk were – surround yourself with good people and keep your passion burning. I will delve on the later in my upcoming “Secret shoot” blog. But today I wanna really chat about the importance of surrounding yourself with good people.

Every 6 weeks I get together with a bunch of ladies from my church. There are about 8 of us and we range in age, size, race, jobs, talents ect. However the main common denominator is that we all are aiming to put God on top of our lists …coz you know us women have many lists in our lives! We are each others supportive structures.

Today’s meeting was an early morning Saturday breakfast and as busy as our schedules all were we knew deep down that this get together was not about us but all about God. One mother leaves her 2 week old and 2 yr old alone at home with dad for the first time, another just needs a breather from her family’s hussel and bussel, a teacher slips away from all the marking she has taken home for the weekend, a stay at home mom anticipates the social aspect of the gathering, a working mom just needs to pause for a second, some ladies are ready to be refreshed and others are ready to refresh others.

I was moved when each lady shared there feedback on “what was going well in their life and what they were struggling with.” Each lady opened up like flower as they shared the “what was going well”…and as they slowly unfolded their struggles you could just resonate with the emotion. Yes you can imagine how the flood gates were let loose here in a little café in jozi. But it was humbling to hear that some of the struggles were very similar – being busy and burnt out, feeling guilty with not spending enough time with God, waiting for God’s confirmation in decision ect. As we shared our hearts we realised how God has come through and although the struggles seemed hectic and unbarring …which made you wanna cry, it was so encouraging witness God’s faithfulness in the various seasons.

When the breakfast was over and the waitress was tired of asking us if we needed anything else…we all went our separate ways refreshed and ready for the battle field of life.

The whole experience really encouraged me to push all my women readers that feel like they are alone and struggling or unsupported - to surround yourself with Good Women. Women that you can open your hearts to and share your joys and tribulations; women you can trust that will be praying for you when you are struggling to pray for yourself; women that will refresh you with God’s word and wisdom. We can’t go through life thinking we can manage everything alone…including our relationship with God. We need good supporting structures that will guide us with God’s light because life can get so hectic it may even feel hard to breath.
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If you feel like this blog or any of my blogs have spoken to you and you would really like specific prayer comment or send me a private email kanya.middleton@gmail.com.

Happy Birthday Bianca and rest in peace always

Hi Bianca Warburton not sure if you remember me, but we sat next to each other at life group…two nights before you died (a year ago). No worries if you don’t remember me. .. It’s all cool. Avon and I know Clifford your husband pretty well. Well since it is your birthday today and it is over a year since you have been gone I’d thought I would dedicate a blog to you because you were a super amazing person.

Avon was at work when I got the message “Pray for Clifford, Bianca has been shot dead by an attempted hijacking.” I was alone at home doing the ironing and the message cut my heart like a knife. Bianca I didn’t and don’t know how to deal with death and couldn’t imagine ho Clifford was doing. I ran to my bedroom and fell to my knees crying to God. Why, Why, Why…why had he taken you? You were such a kind person, pure and God fearing. I just couldn’t understand.

Then God reminded me of the vision you shared with us during a prayer session. You had a vision of a little boy on a white horse going into battle. Your vision is still clear in my mind. You sensed that the boy was struggling to hold his sword to fight…. You interpretation was that God is the horse and he will take us into battle…but we still have to fight. A lot of people in that prayer session related to it. But to me you were not only talking about the present battles but the future battles that need to be fought here in Johannesburg. Which I believe is the battle of the hearts of people which is between Good and Bad. My racing heart then slowed down and I began to understand that your plan is so much bigger than I can understand.

At your memorial I went into a deep trance of thought. The song Malibongwe was playing and I envisioned you dancing. They told me you were such a good dancer. In my mind your spirit was dancing through the church. It was so beautiful…more beautiful than I had ever sensed a dance before. I then put myself in your shoes. Not that I was kind, pure and God fearing. But what if I died…was I ready….did you know that it was your time? Would everyone I love know I love them? Have I said enough, done enough… those kinds of thoughts? Because as I learnt more about you I realised that Wow you were amazing. You had done a lot. Sho when I heard Clifford talk about you (yes your amazing Husband) I couldn’t control my tears. I felt his pain as I pictured Avon in his shoes.. the pain of losing the one you love.

But Bianca I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for living your life and only fearing God. You were a helping hand in a township that most of us would never venture into. You saw past the crime and dirt or black and white. You used Gods gift in you to the fullest and were never afraid to show it. And as your murders go on trial I pray that their hearts get won by Gods love. That they see what they have done and they change for the Good. I pray that Gods goodness ripples all over the city of Johannesburg and that we win this terrible war for Gods Glory.

Are you a Winna?

At the intersection of William Nicole and Lone hill (by checkers) an energetic young man sells homeless magazines to the passer bys. He is very hard to miss because every time he approaches a car he shoots you down with a beaming smile from ear to ear. Yes he is homeless, yes he is trying to get by just like you and me. But when you see him I am sure you will ask yourself the same question that I asked “Why is he so happy?”

The first time I noticed the man I was on my way home from a long day at the office. The traffic was backed up right into Lone hill Residential area and all I wanted to do was get through this traffic light. I wasn’t interested in no hawker harassment, no newspaper nothing. I usually avoid any conversation at any intersection. I just turn away but when I saw this guy I was intrigued. I saw him wave genuinely to the car in front of me. He stopped and smiled had a brief chat and walked away. I didn’t get to talk to him but I promised that I would do something different next time.

So the next day I took the very same route and this time I had just enough time to get a word in to the man. He waved as usual and I slowly rolled down my window as I approached him. “Hello my friend!” he said with spunk and a slight bounce to his walk.
“Hello, how are you?” I tried to say with just as much energy.
“ aaaa I am good, I am good!”
“What’s your name?” I asked
“Winna” he said confidently
“Winna…like a Winner? Wow. So what are you selling?” I curiously asked.
“Aaa Mem it is the Homeless newspaper, you can buy if you want”
“Sorry I don’t have money today, but I will buy it tomorrow!”
He smiled…”no problem!” and he gave it to me! I awkwardly drove off as if I had just stolen from a homeless guy.

But the encounter interested me so much. I wondered if he was really homeless. Where did he go at the end of the day? And why is it that he is so happy?.. I mean he seems to where the same cloths every day.

From then on our relationship built up and every time I approached that intersection I would look out for him. Just to say hi see how things are going. Our encounters grew from an awkward conversation through a window to a full handshake and honest talk. People in cars around me would look at us strangely and somewhat curious. He would tell me if the drivers are being rude today or not. I would tell him if the day was good or not. Sometimes I would give him whatever I could but other times we would just talk. No expectations just two strangers whose paths just happened to cross.

After about two months of travelling that same route I had to start taking a different route. This other route was a bit quicker and less congested but the only fall back was I missed my daily 30seconds -1 minute conversation with Winna. After a month of not seeing him I wondered if he even noticed.

Then I accidentally took the Winna route. I approached the intersection and to my surprise Winna came running to the car with a big smile. “Where have you been my friend? Yo yo yo yo…eish I thought you were dead!”

I was shocked this guy was genuinely concerned about me. For that moment I felt like wow I meant something to him and I didn’t even give him anything really…just my time and attention. I actually felt bad that my absence lead him to believe his worst scenario. What this whole encounter really made me think was – am I a Winna? When the circumstances of life hit the fan – do I still smile at a stranger? Yes okay maybe this was Winna’s job but at the end of the day who is really better off? Is it the guy that leaves his job to no home but still has a smile on his face or the man who comes to a home bitter and angry about life. Winna stirred something inside of me that only he could do. When the troubles of life come is my spirit in check? Depression, stress and relationships all have their ups and downs; but God is constant and His Love is more that enough to get you through this life. Be a Winna!

God are You here? (Reflections from the movie Eat Pray Love)

Last night, October 7th, my good friend, Parusha Naidoo (Goodhope FM, DJ) and I attended the premier for Eat, Pray, Love, and what an enlightening movie it was.

The movie wasn’t a typical happy-go-lucky kind of a movie but a deep spiritual search with its highs and lows. The movie really shows how it isn’t always easy trying to listen to that inner voice, it isn’t easy to find your self (and do we ever really?), it isn’t always easy to forgive ourselves or others and it isn’t always easy to find God and peace in this world. But it does require a search as it so clearly shows in the movie.

Eat, Pray, love ignited moments in my life when I was searching for the deeper meaning and purpose; when I was trying to figure life out. I remember going up to “Gods Window” in Grasskop thinking maybe I would find God there. It was the most gloomiest days of that summer and I hiked right up to the top of this mountain alone…thinking for sure I would find God or God would find me. As I hiked up, the clouds came down and it became dark as I walked through the rain forest vegetation. I started to feel like I was not alone, yet there was no one around me. I got to the edge of the mountain where you supposedly would look over the clouds as if you were looking out of Gods window.

Breathless and tired I sat on the damp rock with the mist surrounding me and talked to God in my mind. I said “Okay God I am here. . . You could have at least have removed these clouds for me. I can barely see you. I have driven 3 hours alone…Where are you?” Still there was nothing. Isn’t it sad that we expect God to do some miracle to prove himself to us as if he is on our time and that we are not on his. I waited for God and soon my fears came to haunt me. You are alone Kanya…if you died right here no one would know.Do you really think people care about you? My mom had already said it was a stupid idea for me to be in the mountains alone. Suddenly I felt like she was right. I got scared. “God remove these fears.” I got a brief moment of suicide which had never crossed my mind. I panicked and began to run down the mountain, like a child that had just seen a ghost. I ran as if my life depended on it. As soon as I came to the open path, a busload of tourists were right in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks and began to walk as if nothing had happened.

Although I was mad that I didn’t feel Gods presence or didn’t have that Godly moment which I was so searching, I realised that when we begin to search for God – the devil searches for us. The devil loves it when we are unhappy, when we are senseless and engulfed in unhealthy relationships, money and greed. These are the false illustrations of happiness and our inner being screams until it isn’t heard anymore. God rescues us by saying “Wake up there is more to life!” hopes that inner feeling will move us into a search for Him.

I think we all have different paths that God has called us to walk on.- when he calls us or when we realise He is actually real. It could be to leave all your treasures and find Him? It could be to leave the person you love in order to find the maker of Love, it could be to be in a place where you feel the presence of evil and realise then there must be a God. Whatever it is and whenever it happens you will know…your heart gets stirred up and you acknowledge this void that only God can fill. When it does don’t think about yourself…you will be just as confused. Just like the beginning of the movie, she got on her knees and prayed and God lead her step by step. Just get down on your knees and pray, and the light will begin to shine through the darkness.
God hears every prayer and counts every tear that falls J.

Be on Guard at all Times...Who is your Guard?

So this morning I drive my normal route to work. Yes I finally have the guts now to drive past Deipsloote again. I usually drop our complex gaurd, Dumi, off at Diepsloot and actually enjoy our conversations in the morning. I was in the jeep today coz the other car was getting fixed. The normal car I drive has smash and grab proof windows...but the Jeep is yet to be Smash and grab proofed. But I have now learn't to just put my stuff in the boot. Thinking what is the worst that could happen?

Once I had dropped Dumi off I headed off for the Deipsloot HOT Spot intersection. My mind was somewhere else ...as usual. But the next thing you know this guy runs across the road. Stands right at my window and just looks in side...first the boot then the back passenger door. I first think he is passing. But then realise that no he is actually looking to steal. I get so angry....Now you must know since the last smash and grab incident...I HAVE PLAYED THIS EVENT OVER AND OVER in my mind. SO I WAS SO READY. I Start going belistic...and just hooting my horn...not to say that was what I thougth I would really do. Once again I can't move forward but at least I didn't panic and smash the guy in front of me. He eventually ran away.

The light turned green and I drove off on my way to work, heart racing and all. Can you believe it! Same intersection and I wondered if it was the same guy. As I drove for the next 40 minutes I really started to think...What was God trying to tell me?????? WHAT? I looked at my doors and realised that they were all unlocked. I probably didnt' think of locking them once i dropped Dumi off....I was just thinking of getting back on the road. Then I turned and looked to see if the guy could steal anything but all that was there was Avons Bible.

Then IT HIT ME! The event's of this morning could have been far worse than I thought. All that guy needed to do was open the door and it would have been over! Did he know the doors were open? Was he trying to open the door? Did the bible scare him? WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? My co worker K.K just told me that she had witnessed a lady being stabbed by a thief trying to steal her lap top! I just got shivers thiking of it. I began praying and thanking God for my life.

I read my daily read and it was ironic that the verse was Psalm 121:6-7 " The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life." That moved me.

The truth is that you can try protect yourself by doing so many things. But the real protector is God. I really believe the War we are fighting goes far beyong what we see. It is supernatural! I am so greatful I have God in my life because he is the ultimate protector. PROTECT YOURSELF by putting GOD FIRST

Encounters with the South African President: Jacob Zuma

So as I mentioned in my previous blog…..Avon and I had the honour of welcoming the President to Godfirst Church. Avon responsibility was to escort the president to and from the VIP room and I had to host the room in which the special guests would meet with the President.
We were all so nervous to meet him. Figuring out what to wear, how to greet him, could we take pictures with him, what to call him Mr J-Z, baba, President Jacob Zuma???? To calm my nerves I pretended that the person that I was going to meet was my Dad….just with a whole lot of guards and stuff around him. The whole building had to be bomb swept with sniffer dogs, the security was in check with metal detectors computers…the works. It for sure was not a normal church service even for us God Firsters. I was more nervous for Avon…I kept asking him are you sure your radio is working…do you know exactly where you are going, what channel should you be talking on.
The VIP room wasn’t too big and could only fit a limited number of people. I had the list of people given to me on a clip bored …which made me look very official. Everyone was rushing around making sure the room was ready with the snacks drinks. The temperature had to be right the flowers. Every now and again I would be like WOW the President is coming. J

Then the presidents personal assistant was gave us the signal that the President had arrived. I was told to make sure no one comes in the room with anything. In my mind “right on…I got this.” As the guards open the door for the president….a cook boy walks in with dessert plates in the opposite door. You should have seen the look I gave the guy. I think I freaked the guy out. It was that look of you better back right out of here coz the president is right at the door!!!! I will show you the look one day.

Once the fuss was over and we got to meet the president himself... he reminded me so much of my father. I observed how he interacted with his daughters how he sipped at his tea and how he laughed and made jokes. He was a daddy kind of a guy. When I looked at him I thought “Here in front of me was the man that was holding South Africa on his shoulders ….the crime the past hurts everything,” I could only imagine what stress he must go through.

When it was time for the interview with the pastor, Avon escorted the president from the VIP room down the back doors and to the front of the stage. I was so proud of my husband J. The interview was with his daughter GUGU and it was so interesting to have the president talk about Gugu the way he did. … so proudly. What stuck out for me was when Sibs asked the president what should the Church be doing…and is it doing enough. Jacob Zuma said the Church should be the conscience of the government…..meaning we should be raising our voices if something is not right. He felt we were not doing that enough….which was true.

The preach by PJ, our pastor, was also very moving. According to Paul, all authorities in the world were put in place by God. We should obey the laws and keep praying that our Leaders will lead our nation wisely and in a Godly manner. We have to focus on the positive aspects of our authorities and pray for the things that are not right. This will make a difference. The government can’t do everything on its own. It can put rules on racism but only God can change the heart of a racist and heal the hearts of those hurt by it. Government can band pornography but only God can deal with a person’s lustful nature, only God can deal with jealousy and greed.

When he came back up to the VIP room I really felt like I knew the president. I also was dying to get my picture taken with him....just to prove that I was actually there. You know a Kanya moment :). Trust me to strike a crazy pose posing with the president. I also got a picture with Avon and I which I said I would give my dad as a fathers day present :).
Anyways, this blog is to encourage you all to pray for our President Jacob Zuma and all our leaders. I was moved by the joining of Christians of all races and backgrounds who all just cheered for joy at the sermon and at Jacob. When we prayed for J-Z people cried. When we sang I could just feel the Holy Spirit moving through the crowd. People were changed and I would only imagine what it would feel like to have the nation changed and believing in God and our authorities too.

If any of you are interested in the preach and the interview with the president please download it from http://www.godfirst.co.za/node/500 Please also forward it to anyone who struggles with believing in our leaders of today.