Friday, December 18, 2009

Dream about Dreams

I don't know if it is because I am seriously sick and under a whole lot of medication ....but last nights dreams were CRAZY and so clear. I thought I would interpret it. This isn’t a new thing. I try interpret dreams all the time……just thought I would publish one.

My Dream:
I was in our apartment alone and it was day light. I remember saying if there was anything evil in the room I would for sure feel it and I didn't feel anything. Then it became darker as in the blinds were closed but it was still day light outside. I for some reason could move things with my mind. I lifted my hand and with out touching it the object would move. I was opening fridges and moving tissue paper. I began to pray out loud " anything that is not of Christ be gone....leave this room." then I lifted my hand and something moved again. I began freaking out why did I have this power and was it really coming from God? I could move things without any effort.
Then I was in a different kitchen in a warm place and I was opening a wedding present and my auntie from Zimbabwe walked in the door and gave me a message (don't know what the message was). Maita was in the room too. We had to move and there were special arrangements being made to fly somewhere to meet with many people. Something had happened but it was like we were expecting it. I didn't feel anything. As in it felt was the messages I was trying to figure out. Particularly the one message in the wedding card.
I was then taken into my past. A time of growing up in Mananga. I was standing by the mulberry tree where we used to build our tree houses. I saw Nyemu she was a toddler and she was running so fast. I shouted at her "beware of snakes" and thought to myself this child has no fear she just goes. She ran through the bushes and across the grass to Hama who was playing with his friend. Nyemu was telling Hama of a special guest who was visiting. She ran back thru the hedge and greeted this other person (an African child) Hama came through as if he wanted to meet this person but walked passed with a sense of pride. Meanwhile maita and I are still by the mulberry tree. We decided to go say hi. I see a huge tree with many pink flowers that are matching my dress. I ask maita to take a picture of me as she was carrying the camera but she was quiet. She takes it and we walk to go meet this Child.
My thoughts:
Okay since yesterday was about achieving dreams I think this might have something to do with it.
Moving things with the mind might mean discovering things about myself that I didn’t know I could do or accomplish. The praying relates to my fears of being able to distinguish what I am doing as right or wrong. Is what I am doing what God wants me to do?
The second part is very blurry. It almost feels like it is in the future because I am looking back.
The third part relates to my childhood shortcomings of dealing with a situation. As these people are important in making me who I am today. How they interact with meeting that person (a goal) could possibly be a warning of things to avoid in perusing my dream.
  • My fears of Nyemu being too young to do something: relates to my own fears of being inadequate to do something…yet when I let those fears go she succeeded.
  • My interactions with maita relate to my self-centeredness. In getting Maita to take a picture of myself made maita focus on me and not on what was important….meeting this person. Warning that self-centeredness can prevent me from succeeding.
  • My observation of Hama not greeting this person relate to a pride issue that I may need to deal with or avoid.
These are all just possibilities. Could just be a dream.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dreams and God

We all have dreams! Be it a wannabe singer, dancer, songwriter, model, racecar driver, writer or moviemaker. Some people dream of being various things those are the Big Dreamers like Vuyo.....if you haven't seen that add click here. Whatever it is or they are, those dreams are in us for a reason. I believe God plants these desires in our hearts but we have the choice of following them or not.

But what stops us from dreaming.... fear, money, past hurts? This past weekend at Youth Camp we had small group discussions about our dreams. It took me back to the time when I was a teenager and the dreams I had. What stopped me from dreaming....did I ever stop? I mean if God said to you, you could have anything in this world anything or you could be anything....what would it be? What are our God given talents and why are we not using them if we know we have them? Or why aren't we bringing our dreams to the Lord? He is our provider.

After reading the book the Alchemist a couple of years ago, I really began to reflect on what might my destiny be, where was God calling me and for what. The book talks about people who stop dreaming and it ignited a fear in me. Was I one of those people? The ones that stop dreaming and thus the universe and God stops providing. If we asked anyone who has made it big in whatever field....they probably would tell you that it started with a small dream or passion which they followed. They didn't just dance in on it.

Some of the sayings that have made an impact on my perspective of life is

* Never make a principal out of an experience let God be as original as you as He is for everyone! (Crazy Love Audio book).
* "I was made for this moment" Be it bad or good..... you were made for it.
* God is a creator not a duplicator
* What are you doing with what God has given you? We don't have to have a lot of money or big friends to
* How do your God given talents Glorify God? Once we figure that out.... our dreams will be so much more rewarding.

These are just some of the things that have been on my heart.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Money and People: Bentley Continental Supersport Launch

Since Avon started working at Monte Casino we have had great opportunities to go to events I wouldn't normally have the privilege of going to. But have you ever been to a place where there are really "important" people all around you and you are trying your best to not feel so less important or less valuable. You know that God considers you important, not by the money you have or car you drive, but this situation gets you thinking...But Am I?. Well last night Avon and I fortunately got tickets to the official launch of the new Bentley Continental Supersports Car. From the invitation I could tell this was going to be one of those events......the invitation was so crisp and “first class,” it screamed money.

Like any women the first thing that went through my mind when we got the invitation was “what do I wear.” In my experience of 6 months of marriage asking the Husband is the safest bet. Whatever he chooses has made me feel good. I get a sense of confidence when he makes the decision, a feeling that what I am wearing is pleasing to my Husbands eyes. And at the end of the day that is all that matters! Anyways so the night before he had decided I should go for the “black Number dress.” Now every girl should have a black number dress. Its that dress that fits you just right, it is simple and sassy but not too much, you can dress it up or down. It is a never fail in a situation when you don’t know what to expect. Um so I have a couple of “Black Number Dresses.”. But on this particular day I felt like I had out worn my favorite 3. The short cute black one had a loose hem, the Knee length V dress needed to be sticky rolled and my tight black dress just felt too tight. POSSIBLE disaster!!!! But when in DOUBT bring the wedding out fits OUT!!!! I tried to look for the outfit closest to the “black number” I rushed out the door in a frenzy to pick up Avon but was feeling proud that , in 30 minutes I had showered, changed, done my hair and attempted a bit of make up! Wow if any of you know me….that is probably a record time.

AAA the Bentley opening was really elegantly set up it was so classy and so sassy! The venue was in the Pits of the Kyalami International Race track. It was just before sunset so the air was nice and warm. Outside were huge Bentley cars possibly owned by the people at the event.

Everyone there looked important and full of money, which for some reason made me feel awkward. It made me feel as if I wasn’t important enough in this world…to be at such an event, okay maybe I wasn't coz. But this rich people complex is something I really need to get over because as Avon says they are just people like you and me , Rich or Poor, beautiful or less attractive, we all have dreams, we all are human, we all want to be loved. But why is it so hard to see past the Money, the Big for nothing cars, the make-up and the implants. I saw a beautiful lady walk in the room and DAM she was wearing the “Black Number Dress” hers was fitting her just right but the quality seemed not so good. But either way she was rocking it…..I don’t JURGE (Judge lol). I leaned over to tell Avon that he was right with what he suggested me to wear. She was actually a supermodel in her hey days, not that she was very old. It hurt me so much to see that she wasn’t actually as attractive inside. The way she talked to the bar tender when she ordered her drinks seemed rude in a way and she seemed angry. I found out that she probably wasn’t such a happy person.. having gone through a divorce. But she walked as if she was SOMEBODY!

After speeches and plenty of delicious snacks they selected people who were in the highest tax range to be a passenger for a drive in the new Bentley something something. Not that I really wanted too go but gosh money really does talk. I honestly just wanted to take a picture with the car ….to update my car picture collection….. a hobby I just picked up since I got married. It’s the best of both worlds…Avon gets to check out the cool cars…and I get the honour of posing with them ☺.

It was kind of hard trying to get close to this NEW BENTLEY CONTINENTAL SPUPERSPORT…coz all the Big Shots where in Aw of it. I just wanted to jump in and get a picture. So I turned to Avon and said…..” lets make it quick. I run in and you just take the picture.” I ran in and just as I was about to do my new legendary but out Kanya pose, Derek Bell just said “ Hey let me get a picture with this beautiful girl here” I actually got excited coz this Big shot racer actually wanted to take a photo with me ☺ . I didn’t get the photo I was heading for, but I got an upgrade. I thought maybe he thought I was just as important as everyone there.. which meant my acting skills have improved lol….. but I doubt it. He was sincere and interactive with everyone.

I did eventually get a shmooz moment. I began chatting with a wonderful lady who has been married 36 years, don’t know who she was or how important she was. But I really didn’t want to think about that. I just wanted to get to know her as her no strings attached. She gave Avon and I tips on marriage and it was so encouraging to see a couple that had been married for so long….but still seemed to have that honeymoon feeling about them! Her advise was “When I am angry it doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less, I am just angry”

After having a couple of free glasses of wine, a bunch of delicious snacks and desserts, great people watching moments and decent conversations…..I was glad I came. Behind the big cars and money we really are just people. I believe the people we need to worry about or stay clear of are the ones that think that the money defines them and gives them “power.” Our treasures are somewhere else and sometimes I even need to be reminded of it! But the Bentley Continental Supersport sure has VUMA!

If any of you have tips on how fight the materialistic world please do share!

Mad love Kanya

PS: I know this car aint a Bentley!!!! It was a gate crasher.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

When bugs come to bug you - Kill the buggers!

Okay so Monday morning was a rough one. I lay in bed trying to convince myself that my headache was bad enough for me to sleep-in and not drive Avon to work. We had been away in Swaziland the whole weekend, which was amazing; but you know that feeling when you have been away and you come home to a disorganized house, knowing very well that your Monday is going to be a "organize yourself day"….terrible feeling. So I just lay there in bed with the blazing sun starting to shine through the curtains, my head pounding as if I had had a rough night, and my thoughts saying "Yes just relax Kanya".

Then I began to feel something move across my face. Thinking it was nothing, I just brushed my cheek as if I had flowing hair and was moving it out of my face. But after it happened a 3rd time I thought I might be going crazy, I have an Afro and aint no strands flowing across my face. This headache must have been really messing with me. Avon had just gotten out of the shower, looking all fresh and me looking like a shipwreck with my wonderful morning breath, I rolled over and asked "Babe did you feel anything moving on your skin, I feel wired?"
Avon "Yes I did I thought it was in my head," BRRRRRR
That’s all I need to convince myself to jump out of bed...Coz I wasn't going crazy. I pulled open the curtains and checked the clean white sheets, which I had just put on the night before. Only to find hundreds of little black buggs having a Jole in my bed. What Buggers!!! I freaked out....feeling like they were all over me. Poor Avon had already showered and felt like they were still all over him.

Being the wonderful House Wife that I was I thought I could handle this so kissed Avon off to work. Once he was on his way I did what any newlywed would do....>CALLED MY MOM!!!!! She is like 911 and in no time her and Maita had sent me through the procedures of evacuating bed bugs???? which was what we thought they were.
IT was time to get down and dirty. I putt on my dook (head gear for a African woman) coz you know a sister doesn’t want ish crawling in her afro, and begun to get dirty. I stripped the sheets put them in big garbage bags, vacuumed the whole room and bed, turned the mattress upside down. I was Mrs Cleanit! I Even started washing the walls and vacuuming the ceiling just incase these things were hiding.

Now its not like I can't clean guys. I love fact that is what I spend a majority of my days doing. This actually bugged me! So I had to find out where in the world this little buggers came from, and what they were doing up in our bedroom. So I did what any normal modern day person would do....searched "the Internets" lol. Little did I know Avon was doing the same thing at work. BIG MISTAKE. All that researched freaked us both out. I found out that bed bugs feed ON US!!!!! I mean when people say to kids "don’t let the bed bugs bite"..... they actually really mean it! These buggers come out at night and feed on us in our sleep.....then they can go with out food for almost 3 months.

Avon came home from work early because he couldn't take the itch no more. We then went out to buy some Bug Blaster stuff. We stood in the DisChem Bug section reading up on all the stuff that can be used. There wasn't much on bedbugs. Doom seemed to be the only one. Reminded me of that add "DOOM kills bugs Dead!!!!" Boy did we DOOM The room. IT was D day for those bugs….D standing for DOOM.

That night I convinced Avon to sleep in the same room. It was a test, because if the bugs were still there we would have to take the Killing to the next level---- Terminators! It was so funny we slept with the light on because in our research we found out that the bedbugs hate light. At 3am i sneaked over Avon and switched the light off...hoping that we were too tired to feel anything, if the bugs did decided to come out.

WE survived the night. The buggers are gone and our house is Bug free. We realised that they could have been baby spiders. A nest could have hatched somewhere close by. Our friend Clifford said him and his wife got attached by baby Praying mantises…Shucks! But gee.....what an experience….But in my theory I think what ever it was that hatched….we created a wonderful environment for them the weather was muggy the room was warm and no one was home for a couple of days.

Um so the moral of this story is. Don’t let the bedbugs bite by sleeping with the lights on, else DOOM it! ☺

Monday, November 2, 2009

A Honeymoon Only Happens Once

Before I begin let me just thank all our friends that contributed to our honeymoon package. We had the bests time of our lives. Here is the honeymoon adventure:

You would think that the weeks leading up to our honeymoon would have been a joyous time, but I was so stressed and confused as to where to go. I think part of me had my heart set on Canada, which made it so hard for me to think of anything else.

All our options for our honeymoon seemed to have dead ends. In the beginning we had chosen Zanzibar, only to find out that all the flights were fully booked. Then the agent tried to get us to Thailand which was also crazy. I could not believe it. So we went back to the drawing board and began plotting other destinations: Zimbabwe, adventure train to Tanzania, Zambia. The hunt was so bad that the day our honeymoon began we still didn't have a destination. Avon had 2 weeks off of work and I was in such a frenzy to use it all up wisely.

The first weekend we packed our bags as if we were going for 2 week holiday and headed to Swaziland. We decided that what ever we do, we must get out of the city. Yup we decided to visit family! As much as it was good to get out of the city my heart was aching because this wasn't how I pictured my honeymoon. I really started to pray and even began doubting that God actually had a plan for our honeymoon. I almost felt cursed and negative thoughts came to my mind like: "Kanya you don't deserve a honeymoon, you don't even have a full time job, you shouldn't even be relaxing!" I was so sensitive and emotional about the situation that anything would make me cry.

Come Monday we drove back to Johannesburg checked our emails and found that our flight agent had managed to get us on a all inclusive deal to Mombassa, Kenya, for 7 nights. We were to fly out at 11am the next morning. It was so funny coz in our minds we had no real idea of where we were going. We had seen this resort online and thought it was way out of our price range and could only probably go there in our dreams. But his Magical Flight Centre lady...Sue from Fourways!!!! Managed to get us there.

The fear of the unknown was actually exiting. Getting on the plane with only a small print out on what flight we are on, no reference number nothing. We got to Nairobi at around 4pm and then were suppose to wait till 10pm for the next flight to Mombasa. However luck was on our side we managed to get onto the 6pm flight to Mombasa and I promise you if there was first class on this flight the lady would lhave put us on it. She was so nice. A personal driver was at the airport to pick us up "Mrs and Mrs Middleton......YEY that’s us" The driver was like "You are very lucky you came early or else we would have gotten to the hotel by 2am"...>Brrrrr Kanya, "what you mean the hotel isn't close" Driver "Oh no we have to cross the Ferry" As he continued driving through the dusty rush hour traffic of Mombasa, as if a ferry was a normal thing to catch at late hours of the evening.....BRRRRRRR Avon and Kanya "Ferry?"

Yup the Ferry was an adventure. Avon and I could hardly see outside but there were just masses of people all rushing to somewhere. It made me think of how life here seemed so different. These people had to catch a ferry every day just to get to work. The ferry fitted about 10 cars and people just flooded the spaces between. As guys tried to sell us things as we floated across the dark warm waters of Mombasa, I thought wow who would have known this was what we would be doing. We managed to get to the hotel at 9pm just in time for dinner.

We couldn't have asked for more. The resort just screamed HONEYMOON TIME! Our bedroom had a huge king sized bed which we could sleep on all angles on. The room was an ocean theme with a balcony, bar, TV, reading room. We had breakfast and Dinner catered for and the food was rich in flavor and full of goodness. Avon ate fish almost every night and I had never tasted such tasty vegetarian meals. The air was so warm and the ocean even warmer (like a bath tub). I wanted to savor every moment we spent there.

Nights were full of all kinds of entertainment from tall massai tribes doing traditional dance to romantic singers. Some night we chose to be the entertainment by spontaneously standing up and dancing under the moonlight to some African Salsa rhythms. Knowing that we may be watched but being fully immersed in each other’s moves and loving energies. Other night we went full out and just jived doing funny dance moves we learnt from the movie "the Lyrics" was like we were in our own humorous world, with out a fear or worry. I loved it.

We also took adventures too. After bargaining with jet skii deals we managed to hit the waters on a 1.5 hour personal tour. I held onto Avon for dear life, as the waves bounced below us. We could see the shore view with palm trees, running children and oversized hotels. The sun was so warm on my body and the warm salty ocean spray kept blinding me but the excitement kept me high. I thought to myself how great is our God, I had never seen the world from such an angle, never felt so vulnerable to the gushing waters that roared beneath me. .....hiding a world that was so foreign. I would scare myself and think what if a whale or shark was right below us this very instant. The world above me too seemed to have its own dimension, as a large flock of birds flew with us dipping down for water or insects Where did these birds come from, where were they going? The moment was so Godly I thought maybe I should put in a prayer God it would be so amazing to see pressure! I knew Avon longed for the same experience. I spent a moment in prayer and felt as if I could talk to the creaters of the earth. " Helloooooo Dolphins my name is Kanya and we worship the same God....our creator, He brought me here to see you so please come and meet with me.....I am on honeymoon"
Not long after my mental chat with the universe ....dolphins huge ones surrounded us both. They swam along side of us as if we were friends. I could see them swimming below us moving elegantly yet scary as I thought what if they were sharks too. I can still picture their bodies. Avon was just as excited as I was and for that moment a tear came to my eye as I held Avon so close and felt a real deep connection. In my mind I said, "thank you, you have no idea what this means to me".......if this was what God made me wait so long for...I accept. Wow Gods Love is amazing.

After seeing dolphins I felt like I had hit the climax of our holiday, but we had another major adventure ahead...Diving. Yup I decided to get out of my comfort zone and take a dive lol. I am not going to lie I was scared. Having all that heavy equipment on you can really shake you up and not only that they even add weights to your waist. I thought I was going to sink one time and was scared about forgetting all that I had learnt....Equalize (blow out your ears), breath through your mouth, remember the sign language, do this do that if water gets into your mask. There were moments when I did forget everything but as soon as I calmed down I was fine. Once we were down in the clear water, coral Marine Park I felt like one of the fish. But realised that I was probably like the bad Human from finding Nemo. I felt like laughing coz some fish would just stare at you while you are just starring at them and its like a stare down!. Other fishes would just go about their business as if you were not even there...."I get no respect!" We saw stingrays, eels, and poisonous devilfish. Snorkeling is nothing now
I would totally do it again.

After our diving adventure they took us to Wasini Island for lunch. I had the most amazing Crab ever I ate one and a half crabs......chewing away. Only to find out that I am allergic to crab... I managed to get a huge rash from head to toe. It was the only damper of our honeymoon and I tried to enjoy the rest of the two days the best I could. However I couldn't sit in the sun, swim or anything :(. Feeling sexy was even hard coz all I could see was my rough skin. But Avon was definitely made for me because for some reason he isn't fazed by my rash or allergies he actually enjoys rubbing my arms, which is actually soothing for my eczema. Just to give you an idea of how bad the reaction was at the airport I set the flue heat detectors into "warning!"

We got back home a bit early, which was good coz we were able to relax before the busy week started. We had a picnic at Jozi botanical gardens. Which reminded me of my grandparents for some reason. It was defiantly their type of environment. And just hung out.