Thursday, July 22, 2010

Be on Guard at all Times...Who is your Guard?

So this morning I drive my normal route to work. Yes I finally have the guts now to drive past Deipsloote again. I usually drop our complex gaurd, Dumi, off at Diepsloot and actually enjoy our conversations in the morning. I was in the jeep today coz the other car was getting fixed. The normal car I drive has smash and grab proof windows...but the Jeep is yet to be Smash and grab proofed. But I have now learn't to just put my stuff in the boot. Thinking what is the worst that could happen?

Once I had dropped Dumi off I headed off for the Deipsloot HOT Spot intersection. My mind was somewhere else usual. But the next thing you know this guy runs across the road. Stands right at my window and just looks in side...first the boot then the back passenger door. I first think he is passing. But then realise that no he is actually looking to steal. I get so angry....Now you must know since the last smash and grab incident...I HAVE PLAYED THIS EVENT OVER AND OVER in my mind. SO I WAS SO READY. I Start going belistic...and just hooting my horn...not to say that was what I thougth I would really do. Once again I can't move forward but at least I didn't panic and smash the guy in front of me. He eventually ran away.

The light turned green and I drove off on my way to work, heart racing and all. Can you believe it! Same intersection and I wondered if it was the same guy. As I drove for the next 40 minutes I really started to think...What was God trying to tell me?????? WHAT? I looked at my doors and realised that they were all unlocked. I probably didnt' think of locking them once i dropped Dumi off....I was just thinking of getting back on the road. Then I turned and looked to see if the guy could steal anything but all that was there was Avons Bible.

Then IT HIT ME! The event's of this morning could have been far worse than I thought. All that guy needed to do was open the door and it would have been over! Did he know the doors were open? Was he trying to open the door? Did the bible scare him? WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? My co worker K.K just told me that she had witnessed a lady being stabbed by a thief trying to steal her lap top! I just got shivers thiking of it. I began praying and thanking God for my life.

I read my daily read and it was ironic that the verse was Psalm 121:6-7 " The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life." That moved me.

The truth is that you can try protect yourself by doing so many things. But the real protector is God. I really believe the War we are fighting goes far beyong what we see. It is supernatural! I am so greatful I have God in my life because he is the ultimate protector. PROTECT YOURSELF by putting GOD FIRST

Friday, July 9, 2010

"Umm....Sorry Where Do I know You From?"

I am sure we have all had these moments where you have absolutely no clue where in the world you know the person who just greeted you. You stand there thinking heck should I play along coz clearly this person seems to know me well…..or do I just point blank say “Sorry Where Do I Know You From.”

Well there I was standing in the long Woolworths que (line up) in my boxing gym clothes holding my groceries in my hand. Avon and I had come to Woolworths in two separate cars and I realised I had forgotten to buy something so went back and Avon headed home.

Setting the Scene: Now for those of you who don’t know Woolworths … it is the upper class kind of grocery shop of South Africa…almost like a Sobeys in Canada but even more unique. The prices are high the food is top notch quality the veggies are crisp. Man woollies is the place to shop when you got cash. Avon and I usually only go to woollies for something specific or something special. Like if we were having guests over and we wanted some quality dessert…..Woolies is the spot… like the Nandos commercial says….. “Only the best for AmaVisitors!” lol

If you look at the people that shop at woollies they tend to be people who can spend that extra amount for quality. In my 7pm shopping experiences at Cedar Square…I tend to see single coporate people shopping there like the bachelor or the sofiticated lady that isn’t got time to cook. You also see the tourists there. I have also noticed that it also seems to be the pick up spot for single people. In my past 2 woolies experiences I have been hit on twice. So for me I try to make my woollies experiences short…as much as I love the store……I got to worry about over spending and being attacked by old bachelors or even married men which is just sick!

So back to my story: There I am standing in my sweaty boxing cloths holding the last few bits of our shopping items and just resisting to buy sweets….The next thing you know some guy just shouts “HEY Kanya!” and waves at me like he seriously knows me. I turned, I looked, I paused, I think “DAM I have no idea who this guy is” …..My mind goes into photogenic mode thinking of all the people I knew that could fit his description. Maybe he was someone From Zimbabwe, Swaziland…Work???? Shucks my pause time was running short and I could feel the silence from the sophisticated people around me….who are already sensing that I have no idea who he is.

Then I just say to myself… Screw it Kanya…what have you got to loose. So I say it “Ummmm, Sorry Where Do I know You From?” My heart starts racing and I am worried that he will be like “You got to be kidding me!” But the guy starts laughing and says….Don’t worry you don’t know me.. I went to school with Avon. I just saw your husband and he told me to play a prank on you. I got a huge sense of relief and just started laughing and enjoyed a decent conversation with an almost perfect stranger.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Final Special K Commercial

So I know some of you have been really trying to figure out which of the girls in the Special K Commercial I there are three coloured girls and we all have similarities. Well to clarify the issue I thought I would upload the final product. I am the girl in the office wearing the video realy really slowly. I am talking S-L-O-W and you will see it is really me. lol

I have only seen the commercial twice on TV. I call this clip my 1.5 seconds of fame. I am very happy still coz alot of girls didn't actually make it to the final cut. Although it was short I really enjoyed experiencing the making of the video.

So I hope the commercial gets you feeling like some Special K. :) and feeling like dancing.....the song is really catchy....It is so hard not so feel special with such a song in your head.


Friday, July 2, 2010

Best Friends Never Fade

Yesterday was a really special day because I was having lunch with my best friend from high school. It has been 10 years sense we had seen each other yet speaking to her on the phone sounded like it was just yesterday. The sense of familiarity in her voice reminded me of the feelings I share with my sisters. But before I take you through the motions of yesterday let me give you a brief history about our friendship.

Marcia and I met at Watershed boarding school in 1995 (I think that was form 1). I remember seeing her for the first time as she moved into the cubical next door to me. I think she was with her cousin and was talking away but I didn’t know it was her cousin and just though how can they be friends so quick. I was so nervous that first day of boarding school, I got shivers knowing very well that this was where I was going to spend the next 4 months away from home (Swaziland) and I was 14yrs old. I was even more scared about making friends.

But meeting Marcia was like an instantaneous friendship as we saw so many similarities in each other. For starts she was also far away from home – Zambia; we were the only two coloured girls in our form… well there was another girl Claudia but she was more whiter looking than coloured, oh and there was Cheryl but she was too mature for us so that didn’t count. So let me rephrase this, in form 1 Marcia and I were the only two, crazy loud mouth coloureds, with uncontrollable hair and a complete disinterest in boys.

Our wing prefect Alziera took a liking in us both probably because we were so crazy and fun and yet so far away from home. Getting favoured by the dorm prefect is like your ticket to surviving first year boarding school. We would get to sneak into her room and sit up and have tea with condense milk. Sometimes she would even let us sleep on her floor. Alziera to us was like an older sister. She shared stories about her boyfriends she was always so joyful and positive. Something both Marcia and I learned quickly from.

Form one was tough days for most of us. Some nights we would hear girls crying in their beds during lights out and these were the weekly boarders….. Yet Marcia and I wouldn’t see our moms for 4 months and these girls were crying. One night when someone was crying, one of the tough girls in our form probably, Tariro Gurupira because she wouldn’t take crap from nobody, shouted during lights-out, “COME ON SUCK IT UP, how do you think Kanya and Marcia feel when you are crying and you get to see your mom every weekend.” Marcia and I probably giggled in our beds.

Both Marcia and I were convinced the hostel was haunted by one legged Sam. He was a ghost that jumped off the train that passed by our school at early hours in the morning. Apparently some people have heard him walking down the corridors sounds like a nock then a slide, a nock then a slide. The nock was the sound of his wooden leg. I used to freak myself out just thinking about that sound…and probably convinced myself that I actually heard it. Some nights it was so bad that Marcia and I would have to sleep in the same bed. I still don’t’ know how we fitted in those single size metal beds with thin foam mattresses, but we did.

Although we were so young at this stage I really believe we learnt so much from each other because we were growing and it was a transformation phase. My friendship with Marcia helped me survive my Ugly duckling phase. Yup that’s what I called it….because of stress my exzema was bad and made me have patch skin which gave me the name PatchWork, I had a terrible afro which gave me the name FizzPop and I was terrified of boys…there was no name for that. Yet Marcia looked passed all that I was her friend and that’s what mattered. Marcia, Tanatsa and I were the TLC girls of the hostel, we gave each other names T-boz, Chilly and (gosh what was the other girls name. Marcia gave me confidence that I would be protected by the senior boys (Dennis and Mark) that would make fun of me when I walked passed. To this day I still have the letter in my diary from Marcia telling me that God will protect me from the boys and that everything would be okay.

But like any friendship we go through phases and Marcia and I started really growing up. The similarities we saw in each other and valued almost became the downfall of our friendships. Soon we were named ladies of the Spice girls, I was Posh spice and she was Scary spice. People compared us which in turn made us compare ourselves to each other…Scary spice was definitely more prettier than Posh spice…L. Soon our boobs started growing and we actually started caring what the boys would think. Because we were so similar the same types of guys would like us and we would like the same types of guys. As I read through my diaries I write as if it is Marcia that changed but really it was me. Everything felt like a competition in some strange way. But instead of us building each other up I think we thought it would be best to keep our friendship at just friends and not best friends probably both thinking that it would be healthier for us both. I think we would probably have been a lot happier if we kept our best friendship because in loosing that I think we destroyed each other. This was something I felt so ashamed of.

By the time boarding school was over, I had never felt so lost in my life, yet I was now forced to move onto the next phase of life, University. Arriving in Canada was probably just as scary as arriving to my first day at boarding school. Although I was older, 19yrs old, I was 100 times infact a zillion times further away from home. This time I had no idea when I would see my family again. I had the same friendship fears as form one but this time I thought who would want to be friends with me because I was so unless at keeping my high school friendships, jealous and self centred.

Then I met Jackie Lee, in health class 101, a half Korean half Canadian talkative chick who after class invited herself over for lunch at my dorm. I remember thinking gosh she talks so much and yet she thought I talked too much and could hardly understand my accent. In my diaries I wrote about how I could never be friends with her because she was too good looking and I may not be able to handle my own jealousy levels.

But Gods plan was different and we were able to build a friendship that would last throughout university. From abusive relationships to successful ones we learnt how to support each other. The successes and failures in our lives built us into where we are today. From being broke to being rich…it didn’t matter coz our friendship was constant. Here again in a completely different continent I found similarities about myself in someone else. We were both half breeds, both liked to dance, both Loved God, both adventurous, both deep and meaningful. Yet we were so different too, Jackie was a bit more aggressive in perusing her dreams, I was more slow and steady, she loved the fast life of the city and the nice cars and clothes, it didn’t matter as much to me; Jackie could network with the rich and famous with ease but I would pretend like I was the rich and famous; Jackie liked facts to believe and I believed more based on feelings.
When I left Canada to come to South Africa, for Good, it was like first year boarding school, first year University all over again. This time my fears were that I had no friends here and I would have to start afresh…at the age of 27yrs but this time I had a husband and I was closer to home. I have managed to make friends here and their but I have had a deep longing for that strong friendship. I look at my husband who has managed to keep all his high school friends and I almost get a sense of disappointment that I have made so many friends, but here I am at 28yrs and where are my close friends that I have made over the years of my life.

Then two weeks ago I get a message for Marcia saying she can’t believe we haven’t met up yet. She lives right close to where I work. I got a sense of excitement and also fear at the thought of meeting her again. Maybe it was the fears of our lousy high school endings. I have been reading through all my diaries lately just reflecting on life and capturing all the places where I talk about Avon. It has made me think about Marcia more than usual. Probably because when you read back on things, when you are more mature, you have a greater sense of the bigger picture. I realised where I went wrong in our friendship and had a strange feeling of curiosity on whether we could make it right again.
So my day yesterday at work was really hectic and I just had a feeling like this was not what I needed just before I was going to meet Marcia. I was already anxious as it was. But meeting her was like a breath of fresh air. It brought a tear to my eye. We had so much to catch up on and so many things to express. As we sat and chatted away it was like we never “separated.” Here we were 10 years later both married and both living in Gauteng. We talked about our ups and downs over the past 10 yrs, the crappy relationships and what we learnt from them. It was amazing and just what I needed.

When I heard her say she had been feeling the same way about not having friends here after moving from England, I just thought, “God could it be possible that you brought us back together at this particular time in our lives?” It was like it took all these years to make us realise what a true friendship we actually had and it was possible to make it right again.

Before leaving to meet with Marcia I got a sense of confirmation that everything was going to be okay. We called each other Twin in high school and I found a letter from her in my diary which ended with P.S Only death can separate Twinz. It was a chilling feeling but what it said was it didn’t matter what we went through or where we had been….nothing could separate us.
It was so strange bing with Marcia coz I kept wanting to call her Jackie. I haven’t wanted to call anyone that ever before. But instead of feeling bad about it I actually felt good because I knew the friendship I had in Jackie and it was probably my internal being that sensed the familiarity in the two friendships. This comforted me because I knew that everything was going to be okay our past was in our past and we were both so grateful that we could actually enjoy each others friendship now.

Okay so to cut this long blog short my point is that friendships are God ordained. People are brought into our lives for a reason and I want people to reflect on where their friendships went wrong and how you can make it right. This blog was the toned down version of where we went wrong. If it was you that messed it up humble yourself and ask for forgiveness. If you are the unforgiving person ask God to help you to forgive because life is way to short for you to carry an unforgiving heart. Friendships are blessings so do not hold yourself back on Gods Blessings.