The original rapid weight loss was due to the breastfeeding. I was told that breastfeeding would help shed the pregnancy fat but I didn’t really believe it till it happened. After Kayla was born I was eating more than I had ever eaten during my pregnancy. I felt like a bottomless pit because I would eat and eat and still feel hungry. I was also eating things I never used to crave – from Chelsea bunns to crackers to chips. Anything what was wheat like and processed, I was bound to love. I must admit it was fun while it lasted but the weight shedding came to a stand still.
I figured I should start running to help encourage the weight loss but it all seems like such an effort. Every day it is the same story…. “ I promise I will go for a run first thing tomorrow morning!” But just like any morning with Kayla….I wake up totally finished and I am too hungry to even think of going for a run. Even though I know I haven’t lost weight over night….I still hop on the scale before I pour myself a big bowl of cereal with my cup of hot tea. As I hop off the scale I stand and look at my naked body and wonder where the extra 5kgs could be distributed. Then I comfort myself by saying “2kgs are in the boobs and the other 3kgs must be in my extremely huge afro. Coz you know your hair has grown quite a bit Kanya.”
Truthfully speaking the 5kgs is stuck between my shoulders and my hips. Nothing fits me anymore…those pants that used to be too big for me when I wasn’t pregnant….are now barely zipping closed. There have been a number of occasions where I have gotten stuck in old summer dresses and had to get Avon to pull them off of me. ….extremely embarrassing I tell you!!
Strangely enough my mind refuses to believe I am bigger than I was before. I went shopping for cloths once and almost everything I tried on was too small for me. I was actually embarrassed with myself when I saw my hips squished into a pair of shorts that were obviously not my size. When I went back to the racks to see the size up it just looked massive. The whole experience scared me and I have not been shopping since.
I don’t know what my problem is really coz it isn’t like I don’t like how I look and my husband actually prefers it. I guess I am just scared that when baby number two and three come I will have to add another 5 kgs for each child. That would mean I would be 15 kgs more than what I was before babies. That’s like the size of 3 Kaylas….Eek. I have this scary vision of me looking back at my wedding photos and my children saying “Mommy that doesn’t even look like you!” YIKES I better getta moving! Tomorrow I promise I will run .
