Let it Flow

I have this theory that I must cry at least once a month. It doesn’t necessarily need to be over big thing just a moment to get out the emotions that you might have felt but never let out. The frustrating part is when that cry comes at the most bizzar moments the moments when you actually don’t want to cry or not suppose to cry.
Like crying in an INTERVIEW! Well the story goes like this.. I was in university and I had managed to land my first co-op interview after all my friends had already landed jobs. Taruvinga. The interview was on camps so I had got dressed pretty smart and made sure I had plenty of time to get there. I entered the building 20 minutes before the time and sat in the waiting room for 15 minutes. I read through my notes and tried to think of all the reasons why I would be a good science teacher for a summer camp. Then I noticed that my name was not coming up on the screen so I went over to check at the reception. Only to find out that I was in the wrong building and that the interview was taking place in some Engineering office. I went into complete panic mode because I knew that the Engineering department was like Chinese to me because every time I had a class there I always got lost.

Out of breath and almost drenched in rain…. I finally found the office 10 minutes late for the interview. They said that they could still see me and I was relieved. I kept telling myself “Kanya keep it together! Kanya Keep it together!” And I was doing fine. Then I sat down in front of the pair that were interviewing me and tried to answer their first question. I knew exactly how to answer the question…I had my points. But something kicked in me “Kanya you were late! These guys are not going to give you the job! This is just embarrassing!” Those are the beat yourself up kind of thoughts… destroy them when they enter your mind. I tried and failed.

YUP! Youbet cha I cried. You know when your eyes are just swelling up out of nowhere….you are still talking though and pretending as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Then it was way to obvious to hide the tears and I apologised... cried some more blew my snotty nose. The lady seemed to understand but I could tell the gentle man was a bit uncomfortable. I then composed myself and went through the interview with super confidence! So much so that I actually got the Job. Maybe they thought I was just the right person because I was connected with my emotions…so therefore could connect with kids. Who knows!

But my point is….let it out and don’t be ashamed of it. What you might think is a weakness could actually be strength! My husband now understands me when I say I just need to cry. When I feel that build up I take a moment and just let it all flow! My thought is it is better to let your emotions come out like that than through something else…. Bitterness, anger, irritability, drugs, who knows. I would rather let the tears flow and know ...it can only get better after this :).