It all kicked in when I first experienced the Braxon Hicks contractions (fake contractions). I was 34 weeks pregnant, in Canada and was leaving a movie theatre. When the unfamiliar pain kicked in I stopped dead in my tracks and held my lower abdomen. You can imagine the thoughts that ran through my head. “What is going on, is this labour pains, will I be giving birth in Canada?” This pain really jolted my imagination waves, as I began to realise that wow I am going to one day give birth and it isn’t going to be great feeling….it is going to be painful.
Once I had managed to make it safely home (in South Africa) I decided that I needed to jack up my ideas on the whole concept of birth. Yes I had been to antenatal classes and yes I had seen all the gory birthing videos. But for some reason something didn’t click inside me. It was like I was watching a fictional movie where stuff you know stuff happens…but it won’t happen to you.
My real Aha moment happened when I chatted to a mother who had experienced both a C-section and a Natural Birth. My first question for her was – which one did you prefer? That question opened up a full 20minute information-filled conversation about the benefits of having a Natural Birth. It was like she was talking about a joyful occasion and when I saw her husbands facial expression I thought wow “I want that emotion and feeling!” She nearly blew me away ……with all the facts and issues with C-sections, hospitals and how she would really encourage me get as informed as possible about your birthing options. She said “South Africa is the second highest ranked country in the world for women having C-sections. I really feel like women are not fully informed about their options. Kanya a C-section is a major abdominal surgery. God made you for labour and it should be a wonderful experience and the environment should be like you are making love to your husband, a relaxing and peaceful environment.” I dwelled on those last words and realised that at no point did I envision a love making environment for birthing.
I took our conversation as a God-incident and began changing my non existent birth plan. You see my original birth plan was to just have a natural delivery at Fourways life hospital with my current gyne. I had based it all on convenience because we lived so close. I mean I literally can see the hospital from my veranda. I think I figured that I would have an advantage of getting to the hospital quickly….coz labour can be quick (NOT SO TRUE). But I was not truly comfortable with my decision because I had heard that this hospital was called “Caesar- Palace” due to the many women who end up with C-sections and my gyne was apparently a Caesarean queen. And to add to it the Hospital didn’t quite have the “love-making environment” my friend was talking about.
Then I came across Genesis Clinic which is a natural birthing clinic in Johannesburg. It is 30 minutes further than the Fourways hospital but every picture, word and person who I had spoken to who had given birth there, screamed the birthing as a painfully joyous occasion! I finally knew what I wanted and it was this experience. I wanted to have my own room and my own midwife. I wanted to sit on a yoga ball and do stretches with out the gadgets and wires attached to me. I wanted to have music and candles playing in a love making environment while I screamed “AVON YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!” and pushed SIAM out. I also wanted to be comforted with the fact that should something go wrong there was a C-section theatre ready for me. And when the whole event is over I want to be able to have my husband hold me in my king size bed while I drift off into la la land. All of this was available at a one stop shop – Genesis Clinic. My fearful thoughts about birthing were now becoming strangely peaceful ones. So I changed my gynaecologist, met up with two wonderful midwives and made my reservation for the Genesis Clinic.
I guess we all have our own birthing expectations and fears, and it may not actually turn out the way we planned and expected. But I think what is really important is that before that day comes we are happy with the decisions we have made to that date, whether it is C-section or no C-section, hospital or birthing clinic, gyne or midwife, love making or CSI. You should be confident in the hands of the people who will be looking after you and most importantly the environment should be sufficient enough for you to master your body’s capability to journey through the labour. But honestly speaking......the whole event is really in Gods Hands! ….. the count down is on...hopefully I am still inspired to blog.
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