My birthday weekend had me really thinking, what is family, who is family and can we actually put boundaries and define family. I think this old age has me really looking at my life, the lives around me and the lives to come.
Seeing everyone seated around the table at my birthday breakfast bash made me think wow it’s amazing the new lives that have now become family and the family that has always been family. Regan was Avons best friend as one point but here he was now our brother inlaw. And here was Yash who might as well be family too since he has been Avon and Reagans friends since high school. Being with mom and dad on my birthday was extra special since we hadn’t spent it together in over 12 years.
At Chang and Bianca’s wedding, I got the sense of community and love present in a not so typically structured family. I say not so typically structured because typically would be – each child being brought up by their biological parents. But this was not the case for both Bianca and Chang as they had been brought up with fathers that were not their biological fathers. And although most of us would think …”gosh it must have been hard not being brought up by your real dad.” And I am sure they probably dealt with their own internal searches and battles of who their biological father was. But what we really should be thinking about is how God actually gave them a real father to look after them. After hearing both uncle Howards (Avon’s dad) and Chris (Biancas.. step dad) speaks I got a strong sense that these were the Dads that were destined to raise these children up. Both of the fathers were good examples to them both and you could just see and hear that they loved their adopted child as if it were their own.
But my thoughts didn’t end there… I was also moved when I went over to chill with my brother and sister inlaws..Micheal, Erica, Amanda and Lucile. These young adults are 4 of 5 children who Auntie Ethel took into her home, when their parents abandoned them. At this moment I, for the first time, sensed a strong bond amongst the siblings. Similar to the bond I felt when I was with my siblings. Maybe I hadn’t sensed it before because I hadn’t observed them much when they were all together. But I realised then that if it wasn’t for Auntie Ethel and Uncle Howard (my mother in law) opening their home to them.. this bond of love wouldn’t be present. It hurt me to think of where in the world they would have been. But I was so comforted when I saw how happy they are now.
Afterwards I went over to chill with Dad maybe he had answers to my curious wonder of family. Without even saying a word to him he turned to me and just said “Kanya you are the head of the herd now.” He put his hand over my shoulder. “This is your family now and you need to lead them, be there for them care for them, be an example to the children that come after you.” There was a long pause of silence and I let the words sink in. I thought of my new family, my inlaws that I will one day be looking after, my new siblings that would one day follow in Avon and my footsteps. Gosh the thought of where life puts us just fascinated me. Who knows what is to come, where we would be headed who we would be families too. We don’t really have a choice of who our family would be….God places certain people in our lives …be it biological or not. I wondered if I would even manage with the family that would come our way. Then my dad said “and He will be there for you!” And I just took the words all in my mind I repeated those words “and He will be there for you!” And thought “Lord may I not forget these words.”
Seeing everyone seated around the table at my birthday breakfast bash made me think wow it’s amazing the new lives that have now become family and the family that has always been family. Regan was Avons best friend as one point but here he was now our brother inlaw. And here was Yash who might as well be family too since he has been Avon and Reagans friends since high school. Being with mom and dad on my birthday was extra special since we hadn’t spent it together in over 12 years.
At Chang and Bianca’s wedding, I got the sense of community and love present in a not so typically structured family. I say not so typically structured because typically would be – each child being brought up by their biological parents. But this was not the case for both Bianca and Chang as they had been brought up with fathers that were not their biological fathers. And although most of us would think …”gosh it must have been hard not being brought up by your real dad.” And I am sure they probably dealt with their own internal searches and battles of who their biological father was. But what we really should be thinking about is how God actually gave them a real father to look after them. After hearing both uncle Howards (Avon’s dad) and Chris (Biancas.. step dad) speaks I got a strong sense that these were the Dads that were destined to raise these children up. Both of the fathers were good examples to them both and you could just see and hear that they loved their adopted child as if it were their own.
But my thoughts didn’t end there… I was also moved when I went over to chill with my brother and sister inlaws..Micheal, Erica, Amanda and Lucile. These young adults are 4 of 5 children who Auntie Ethel took into her home, when their parents abandoned them. At this moment I, for the first time, sensed a strong bond amongst the siblings. Similar to the bond I felt when I was with my siblings. Maybe I hadn’t sensed it before because I hadn’t observed them much when they were all together. But I realised then that if it wasn’t for Auntie Ethel and Uncle Howard (my mother in law) opening their home to them.. this bond of love wouldn’t be present. It hurt me to think of where in the world they would have been. But I was so comforted when I saw how happy they are now.
Afterwards I went over to chill with Dad maybe he had answers to my curious wonder of family. Without even saying a word to him he turned to me and just said “Kanya you are the head of the herd now.” He put his hand over my shoulder. “This is your family now and you need to lead them, be there for them care for them, be an example to the children that come after you.” There was a long pause of silence and I let the words sink in. I thought of my new family, my inlaws that I will one day be looking after, my new siblings that would one day follow in Avon and my footsteps. Gosh the thought of where life puts us just fascinated me. Who knows what is to come, where we would be headed who we would be families too. We don’t really have a choice of who our family would be….God places certain people in our lives …be it biological or not. I wondered if I would even manage with the family that would come our way. Then my dad said “and He will be there for you!” And I just took the words all in my mind I repeated those words “and He will be there for you!” And thought “Lord may I not forget these words.”
No comments:
Post a Comment