The Triple A Concept to CHANGE

Why is it that an unexpected change never really feels positive at first? Well that’s how I felt when I had to move from my own private office to the Hostel. The people here call it the hostel because there are so many people working in one space. So you can imagine the emotions I felt when I got the call that I might have to move. Yup I felt like I was being demoted, unappreciated and uncool. But this whole experience lead me to discover the Triple A concept which is Accept (believe that it is for the better) Adapt (make the situation work for you) and Apply (ignite a positive change in yourself and others by applying goodness).

The first step to this adjustment was accepting it. In my case I really thought about why I was emotional about the move. Was I being punished? No! Were they rude about it? No they were very polite about it. Was I the only one getting moved? No, 5 others were getting moved. Suddenly the situation didn’t feel like a shot at me but an external shot at the company. I thought – what if God had planned this move? Suddenly I had a totally different perspective and thought…. Well if so then I better accept it.

Then there was the adaptation part. The key to it is making the situation work for you. For example they were moving me to a spot which faced the door which probably was the worst spot in the office. Plus I have a terrible attention span and the fact that I was by the door would mean noooo work was going to be done because I would watch every person walk by or comment on everything. So to overcome this I put a huge shelve in front of my desk – and problem solved. Unless you are Floris who is almost 6 feet tall I don’t see anyone walking into the office. Then there was the issue of watching other people in my peripheral view – how they eat, read, work and maybe sleep. So I placed both my laptop and my desktop computer up on my desk which created a “wall”. My desk looks hectic man. It is as if I have a dual monitor thang and I don’t see anyone unless I want to. I am so hidden that sometimes people walk in the office and don’t even notice I am here. It might look pretty ridiculous and obvious that I am hiding but that was the point and it worked for me. I have managed to create my ideal working environment regardless of my surroundings.

To apply, in my case, is to allow the change to change you and others for the Good. It is important to note “for the good” because “for the bad” can take place and cause destruction. I believe this section has a lot to do with accepting peoples characters and appreciating their role in your life. It has been about 3 months since I have moved and I have gotten to know other SEF staff a lot better and actually feel positive about it. Betty and Ronaldo are always keeping us up to date with the transportation routes from Johannesburg to Pretoria and give us weather reports. Sometimes Ronaldo even calls us to warn us of traffic on the road (he has a Super GPS). Vanessa and Carene are planning weddings for next year and it is always exciting to share wedding tips or marriage tips with them. Then there is Eben and Quinton who are only in the office on Mondays and Fridays; however, when they are here they always having heated environmental discussions in Afrikaans which sometimes is very entertaining. Some of us have even started a small prayer group. The rest pretty much keep to themselves but are still cool to have around. I didn’t know it at the time but the move was probably exactly what I needed. I got more motivated to go to work and actually enjoy the company around me. I also got more involved with what was actually happening at work and have started to learn more about environmental consulting.

So sometimes change is good. Change happens all the time but it is really about how you deal with it that matters. You can sulk and be bitter about the situation and affect the people around you negatively. Or you can take it as a stepping stone to something greater and better and positively influence the people you interact with. Applying really is your choice at the end of the day.

Anyways that is the Kanyadoit change strategy on the triple A concept: Accept, Adapt, Apply. lol I really made it up as I wrote this blog. It worked for me. Hope it works for you. :) lol

Bloody Diet??

While Avon was watching Formula one I thought I would entertain myself in reading a book “Eat Right for Your Blood Type.” As most of you know I believe I am allergic to everything. My eczema (body rash) flares up at very odd times in a month and it nearly drives me mad. So I thought this book would help me figure out somethinhg.

Strangely enough this book dives into the history of our blood. I never thought that our blood actually has a history which dates way back to like the hunter and gatherer phases. The author links the diets of the people in those ages to the blood types and then gives guidelines for what to eat and what not to eat now.

Yes I am sure some of you are like “whatever!” but as I began to read about my blood type I started to understand why I react the way I do. For example it says Blood type Bs should AVOID SHELL FISH. Hello guys!!! Don’t you remember my honeymoon blog where I reacted like no mans business to CRAB. Then as I read on – I should also avoid tomatoes. Sho and since I was a kid I have been avoiding tomatoes because it is the number one skin reactor for me. This book was like God sent, till I read avoid CHICKEN. ‘What, that is like the only thing I really eat!” I said in my mind. Apparently Chicken causes some reaction in my body which makes me tired. So I searched THE GOOGLE to confirm it and I found the following “Chicken contains a Blood Type B agglutinating lectin in its muscle tissue. Although chicken is a lean meat, the issue is the power of an agglutinating lectin attacking your bloodstream and the potential for it to lead to strokes and immune disorders.” YIKES!!!! Scary stuff ha. Now what am I suppose to eat? Well from my research lamb, mutton, Venison, and Rabbit. That leaves me with ONLY LAMB because I can’t find most of the others in regular food stores let alone cook them. Eish!

I am not sure if I will fully avoid The CHICKEN, but I will consider the weight loss tip. Apparently foods like Corn, Wheat, peanuts, lentils, sesame seeds and tomatoes, affect Blood Type B insulin levels which can cause one to increase weight. I mean LENTILS GUYS, these are legumes that are pushed in any health book…imagine if I went on a Lentil and tomatoes diet and this whole blood type diet thing is true – I would then put on weight and really wonder what am I doing wrong. “I mean I am eating healthy right?”…but Jack I am not going to test it though. lol.

But it is food for thought. Who knows if it is all ture...just gotta try.

Happy Birthday Bianca and rest in peace always

Hi Bianca Warburton not sure if you remember me, but we sat next to each other at life group…two nights before you died (a year ago). No worries if you don’t remember me. .. It’s all cool. Avon and I know Clifford your husband pretty well. Well since it is your birthday today and it is over a year since you have been gone I’d thought I would dedicate a blog to you because you were a super amazing person.

Avon was at work when I got the message “Pray for Clifford, Bianca has been shot dead by an attempted hijacking.” I was alone at home doing the ironing and the message cut my heart like a knife. Bianca I didn’t and don’t know how to deal with death and couldn’t imagine ho Clifford was doing. I ran to my bedroom and fell to my knees crying to God. Why, Why, Why…why had he taken you? You were such a kind person, pure and God fearing. I just couldn’t understand.

Then God reminded me of the vision you shared with us during a prayer session. You had a vision of a little boy on a white horse going into battle. Your vision is still clear in my mind. You sensed that the boy was struggling to hold his sword to fight…. You interpretation was that God is the horse and he will take us into battle…but we still have to fight. A lot of people in that prayer session related to it. But to me you were not only talking about the present battles but the future battles that need to be fought here in Johannesburg. Which I believe is the battle of the hearts of people which is between Good and Bad. My racing heart then slowed down and I began to understand that your plan is so much bigger than I can understand.

At your memorial I went into a deep trance of thought. The song Malibongwe was playing and I envisioned you dancing. They told me you were such a good dancer. In my mind your spirit was dancing through the church. It was so beautiful…more beautiful than I had ever sensed a dance before. I then put myself in your shoes. Not that I was kind, pure and God fearing. But what if I died…was I ready….did you know that it was your time? Would everyone I love know I love them? Have I said enough, done enough… those kinds of thoughts? Because as I learnt more about you I realised that Wow you were amazing. You had done a lot. Sho when I heard Clifford talk about you (yes your amazing Husband) I couldn’t control my tears. I felt his pain as I pictured Avon in his shoes.. the pain of losing the one you love.

But Bianca I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for living your life and only fearing God. You were a helping hand in a township that most of us would never venture into. You saw past the crime and dirt or black and white. You used Gods gift in you to the fullest and were never afraid to show it. And as your murders go on trial I pray that their hearts get won by Gods love. That they see what they have done and they change for the Good. I pray that Gods goodness ripples all over the city of Johannesburg and that we win this terrible war for Gods Glory.

Are you a Winna?

At the intersection of William Nicole and Lone hill (by checkers) an energetic young man sells homeless magazines to the passer bys. He is very hard to miss because every time he approaches a car he shoots you down with a beaming smile from ear to ear. Yes he is homeless, yes he is trying to get by just like you and me. But when you see him I am sure you will ask yourself the same question that I asked “Why is he so happy?”

The first time I noticed the man I was on my way home from a long day at the office. The traffic was backed up right into Lone hill Residential area and all I wanted to do was get through this traffic light. I wasn’t interested in no hawker harassment, no newspaper nothing. I usually avoid any conversation at any intersection. I just turn away but when I saw this guy I was intrigued. I saw him wave genuinely to the car in front of me. He stopped and smiled had a brief chat and walked away. I didn’t get to talk to him but I promised that I would do something different next time.

So the next day I took the very same route and this time I had just enough time to get a word in to the man. He waved as usual and I slowly rolled down my window as I approached him. “Hello my friend!” he said with spunk and a slight bounce to his walk.
“Hello, how are you?” I tried to say with just as much energy.
“ aaaa I am good, I am good!”
“What’s your name?” I asked
“Winna” he said confidently
“Winna…like a Winner? Wow. So what are you selling?” I curiously asked.
“Aaa Mem it is the Homeless newspaper, you can buy if you want”
“Sorry I don’t have money today, but I will buy it tomorrow!”
He smiled…”no problem!” and he gave it to me! I awkwardly drove off as if I had just stolen from a homeless guy.

But the encounter interested me so much. I wondered if he was really homeless. Where did he go at the end of the day? And why is it that he is so happy?.. I mean he seems to where the same cloths every day.

From then on our relationship built up and every time I approached that intersection I would look out for him. Just to say hi see how things are going. Our encounters grew from an awkward conversation through a window to a full handshake and honest talk. People in cars around me would look at us strangely and somewhat curious. He would tell me if the drivers are being rude today or not. I would tell him if the day was good or not. Sometimes I would give him whatever I could but other times we would just talk. No expectations just two strangers whose paths just happened to cross.

After about two months of travelling that same route I had to start taking a different route. This other route was a bit quicker and less congested but the only fall back was I missed my daily 30seconds -1 minute conversation with Winna. After a month of not seeing him I wondered if he even noticed.

Then I accidentally took the Winna route. I approached the intersection and to my surprise Winna came running to the car with a big smile. “Where have you been my friend? Yo yo yo yo…eish I thought you were dead!”

I was shocked this guy was genuinely concerned about me. For that moment I felt like wow I meant something to him and I didn’t even give him anything really…just my time and attention. I actually felt bad that my absence lead him to believe his worst scenario. What this whole encounter really made me think was – am I a Winna? When the circumstances of life hit the fan – do I still smile at a stranger? Yes okay maybe this was Winna’s job but at the end of the day who is really better off? Is it the guy that leaves his job to no home but still has a smile on his face or the man who comes to a home bitter and angry about life. Winna stirred something inside of me that only he could do. When the troubles of life come is my spirit in check? Depression, stress and relationships all have their ups and downs; but God is constant and His Love is more that enough to get you through this life. Be a Winna!

Perfect Bridal Gown: Shoot 2

Being at the second Perfect Bridal Gown photo shoot with Marcia was fun. Although Marcia had never been in a photo shoot she was like a natural model. We both were not there for each others weddings and wedding dress selection; but this opportunity was like we had a second chance of being there when we tried them on. We both wished we had been there though because you need someone for the emotional support of picking a dress. The first time I stepped into a wedding dress store I was alone…and I left the shop crying because it hurt me that none of my friends or family was there to help me (all overseas). Marcia just saved herself the emotions and got her dress made. So it was as if we were making up for that time when we didn’t have a friend around.
Thank you Perfect Bridal Gown for a wonderful day.

Overcoming the Insecurities of life

You know those moments when you can stand and look at yourself in the mirror looking so good covered in make-up dressed good….and yet you do not feel beautiful! Maybe it’s just me…but when these moments used to come along it never occurred to me that it was an inner struggle. You can put on more make up buy new cloths but everything is short lived forms of happiness. Basically it is look to the outside world to fill a very important void. Funny enough when this moment of insecurity and ugliness which comes to haunt me happens to be the time when my relationship with God is at its low.

See in my opinion real beauty has nothing to do with your hair or the cloths you wear. Real beauty is a reflection of Love and real love can only come from God because he created it. When you trust in God you are more than beautiful because you are not trying to prove yourself to him and you are standing on solid ground. See when we turn to the things of this world and to people for our security…. we struggle to find it . Let me give you a typical example. If we look to our relationships to feel beautiful – we fail, when we look to new cloths to feel beautiful – we succeed for a brief moment. Its all temporary - relationships go up and down, cloths get old, hairstyles pass…but God is consistent. Even in a marriage you can feel insecure that’s why they say marriage is a 3 way thing you, your husband/wife and God. We are all human…we all make mistakes. But if we keep our eyes on God you can feel safe in knowing that his plan is for the GOOD.

This isn’t a blog to tell you to Find God so that you can be beautiful and that your relationships will go well! No this is to tell you that in Gods eyes you are radiantly beautiful, you are more than enough to Him, that there is no scar or sin that he cannot overcome. …That if God is in your relationship He will lead you to happiness. The moment I decided to seriously put God first in my relationship was the moment I found my husband. Was the relationship easy ….No! But every trial brought us closer to God and closer to each other.

So if you struggle with insecurities about yourself and your relationship. Take a moment to pray for freedom from it …to pray that God shows you His Light. Life is way to short for you to live feeling not good enough ….for yourself or the person you are with.