The Rhythm of My Pregnancy: Couch Time! (2nd Trimester)

Avon and I had no idea what to expect in a Pre-parenting class but we were so glad we decided to join it because there were so many different tips we learnt about being parents and how to care for a child. It was also good to share stories, fears and experiences with other mothers and expecting mothers. We followed a Pre-parenting book/DVD series which was quite old but very real in what we need to learn about Growing a God Centred Family. I will attempt to share with you bits and pieces here and there through-out my blog but for now I will start with day one – The Marriage.

In our first lesson we went straight to the foundation of a family and that is the Marriage. I think sometimes it is only natural for us to put our children first before our spouses. But apparently the marriage is number one in the family and then the kids come next. …That is exactly how God intended it to be. Just being together isn’t all a child need. We learnt that children feel loved when they see their parents loving each other. As we went through the lesson I sensed a lot of us reflecting on how we viewed our parents love for each other and also how we would be as parents. I could picture each of us thinking of a time when our mom and dad were not getting along. When a child witnesses mommy and daddy fighting or not getting along they automatically think divorce. In the parents view the fight may be so small and insignificant to even equate to a divorce but in a child’s perspective it is massive- it is almost like the child’s whole world is falling apart. We learnt that some children may not express this verbally but the effects are visible in their poor sleep patterns, eating habits, school work ect. Apparently kids are like sponges they just sense the tension and just absorb it. It really made me think how vulnerable children really are.

Another interesting aspect we learnt about was “Couch Time.” This is a specific time where mom and dad have time as a couple and not with the children. It is important that the children understand that this is the time for mommy and daddy and that it is done out of love for each other. So at a certain time of the day e.g after work, you take 15 or so minutes to just sit together and talk and enjoy each others company…with out children distractions. I would think “gosh we can just talk when we get to bed and the kids are sleeping.” But the whole point is defeated because it is important for the child/children to see that bond between mom and dad. MMMmm interesting hu!

Following these tips are probably easier said than done.  I can already see myself thinking more about the food that needs to be on the table or the baby that needs a bath or my cloths that need changing. But this lesson helped me understand the importance of the marriage bond and maybe a couple of years down the line I will re-read this blog and go…… “Wow I just gotta be reminded…Marriage is first!”....and I will get back onto that couch with Avon.