On the hormonal side I was more emotional about
leaving Kayla when I had to travel. The one time I had to leave for two nights,
I ended up sitting on the plane next to two ladies with their daughters and I
cried the whole way to Durban. Then after the whole business trip I tried my
best to get an earlier flight back just so I could see Kayla before she went to
sleep. I ended up meeting dead ends every avenue I tried and sat in the Cape
Town airport for 5 hours alone. That didn't help the emotions at all. All I
wanted to do was to see my daughter before she went to bed. “Was that TOO MUCH
TO ASK?” I killed time by getting a pedicure and manicure because I was too
emotional to do work. Then I managed to get Kayla and my Mother on Skype.Seeing Kayla on skype for the first time felt so strange. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I loved her. She
waved at me as if I was right there with her in my living room. I started to
sing her favorite song “Miss Polly had a dolly!” She was jumping for joy on
the other end as if I was in the room with her..... while I quivered every word with tears running down my cheek. ….
Not caring about how unprofessional I looked in a crowded airport lounge with
my business clothes on and laptop on my lap!
The norm is to not tell work that you are pregnant until you
have passed the first trimester, which I did try to stick to. However at 11
weeks I decided to tell my boss because he was going on holiday quite early and
I didn’t want him to get a surprise in January when I would be about 16 weeks
pregnant and obviously showing. I also assumed that during your second
pregnancy you would show quite obviously. I was worried that my boss would be
disappointed in me, because of the fact that I had just got a promotion and
immediately fell pregnant, as if I had planned it. But strangely enough he was
calm, collected and genuinely seemed interested in my well-being I had
mentioned to him that I hadn’t gone for a scan or seen any doctors but I was
sure I was about 11 weeks pregnant. Strangely he said I should still keep it
confidential till it is all confirmed. It sounded like he had had a bad
experience with unconfirmed pregnancies. But I still reconfirmed the fact that
I was sure I was pregnant.
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